


I Got You Gator

by lillyluna



Category: Sports RPF, Swimming RPF
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-19 09:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillyluna/pseuds/lillyluna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The birth of Oliver Phelps-Lochte</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He's just witnessed (more like survived) the birth

  
The baby wasn’t due for another three weeks; it’s why Michael had agreed to a last minute swim clinic appearance one two-hour flight away. Ryan had agreed to stay home just in case but just in case had just become reality. Their surrogate was in labor, their baby was coming, and Michael wasn’t home.  
  
There had been fifty text messages from Ryan when Michael had gotten out of the pool. They ranged from: “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!” to “What car do I take?”. He had still been reading them when Ryan had called from the hour drive through a snowstorm to the hospital.  
  
“Dude!” Ryan had sounded beyond panicked, “The baby is fucking on his way and you are not here.”  
  
“I’m on my way Ry, I’m getting the first flight-“  
  
“Dude there’s no way you’re flying in. It’s the fucking snowstorm from hell here. I can’t even see where I’m… Shit fuck I hate driving in the fucking snow.”  
  
“Maybe you shouldn’t be talking on the-“  
  
“You’re on speakerphone I’m not a dumbass. Seriously what the fuck am I suppose to do?”  
  
“Just go to the hospital, and make sure you have-“  
  
“I forgot like everything.” Ryan had admitted.  
  
“Call my mom, she’ll-“ Michael had tried to calm him down.  
  
“Dude no one should be driving in this.”  
  
“Fine then just get to the hospital and we’ll deal with everything later, just get there.”  
  
“I’m freaking out dude.”  
  
“You’ll do fine Ry, it’s ok.”  
  
“I’m not good with this emergency shit, what if he’s not okay?”  
  
“Ry, just get to the hospital okay? I’ll be home in five hours tops… You’ll probably still be waiting around. Just hang in there okay?”  
  
He’d kept receiving updates as he packed his hotel room, tried to get a flight out and jumped a cab to the airport. The last text message: “Delivery room, no pehon, GET HERE FASTER FUCKER.” Had come in while he was going through security. It had been radio silence since then.

*

  
Michael calls his mom, he calls his sisters, and he calls Ryan’s mom but no one has updates. There’s a crazy snowstorm in Baltimore and no one else can get out to the hospital. He calls the hospital and gets transferred three times before someone hangs up on him.  
  
That’s when he goes a little crazy.  
  
“Sir.” The woman in the first class waiting lounge tells him, “All flights to and from Washington International are delayed, even if I could get you on an earlier flight, there’s no-“  
  
“My-“ In his panic Michael doesn’t know how to word his situation “My son is being born, right now and I have to get home. Please, any flight to anywhere close to Baltimore, I’ll drive the-”  
  
“Everything is backed up Sir, I’ll keep looking but you’re just going to have to wait it out. There is nothing we can do about the weather. I’m sorry.” She apologizes.  
  
Michael bows his head in defeat because really there’s nothing he can do, “If anything comes up let me know okay… It’s an emergency, I have to be there… My partner’s not the greatest with emergencies.”  
  
*  
  
Ryan had sat through the stupid birthing video two months ago like it was a piece of cake. Sure he’d seen some things that he was probably never going to get over and if he hadn’t been certain he liked dudes that video would have sealed the deal but like he’d made it through.  
  
The real thing though is different and even though he’s against the wall, far from the action and doing nothing important, there’s blood and everything smells like antiseptic. He starts feeling faint, his vision blurs and his knees go weak.  
  
“IF YOU’RE GOING TO PASS OUT YOU HAVE TO GET OUT!” A nurse yells at him, “WE ARE TOO BUSY TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.”  
  
That’s Ryan’s cue to get the fuck out. The miracle of birth can happen without him.  
  
*  
  
He paces the hallway for what seems like an eternity, before a nurse (with no blood on her thank god) comes to get him, “If you want to come meet your son, we’ve taken him to another room so the NICU team can give him a once over, you can come in.”  
  
“It’s a boy?”  
  
“Yes congratulations, come meet him.”  
  
“Is he okay?”  
  
“Go see for yourself.” She puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and guides him into the room.  
  
The baby is screaming and there are people all around him. Ryan’s first reaction is to protect him, the same feeling that’s made him punch bartenders who were mean to Devon, boyfriends who cheated on his sisters and Tyler Clary when he shit talked about Michael. It’s like that feeling but ten times stronger.  
  
“Here’s the dad.” The nurse says and she pushes him forward, “Do you have a camera hun? Now would be the time to take it out-“  
  
“I… Shit, I have my phone.” He digs in his pocket for it and pulls it out, his hands are shaking bad.  
  
“You can use that.” She says and she takes his wrist and ties a hospital bracelet around it, “Matches his, so we know he’s yours.”  
  
“Dad?” A different nurse asks him, “Did you want to cut the rest of the cord?” She’s holding out a pair of surgical scissors.  
  
“Um… no I’m not good with um…. blood and… Is he okay?” Ryan steps closer and his eyes fall on the tiny creature who’s still kind of gross looking and definitely screaming a whole lot and kicking and flailing all his limbs, “Like he has all… ten toes and fingers and-“ He’s holding his phone uselessly.  
  
“He’s perfect. Come closer. You can count them.”  
  
“No, I’m um really not… good with blood and…” He definitely thinks that puking on a baby is not a good way to start. “Can I um…” He feels hot, really hot.  
  
“Do you have a name for him yet?” The first nurse asks and her hand is back on his shoulder. “Do you need to sit down?”  
  
“No we don’t have a name, we can’t decide…”  
  
“What about a last name.”  
  
“Lochte? No, Lochte-Phelps. His name is Lochte-Phelps.” He looks at the baby again and there’s less blood on him and the blankets that had blood on them are gone and he feels better.  
  
He steps closer and strokes the baby’s arm with one finger. “Hey Gator.” The nickname comes out on it’s own, “Happy birthday dude.”  
  
Ryan runs his finger over the baby’s tiny fist and the baby grabs on. It’s all it takes for Ryan to know he’s in deep. “Hang on Gator,” He fumbles with his phone, careful not to drop it, “We gotta take a picture dude, it’s our first handshake.”  
  
“Dad?”  
  
Ryan doesn’t look up right away because it’s not a name he’s trained to respond to, finally he realizes that the nurse means him and he looks away from the baby “What?”  
  
“We have a few more tests to run on him- nothing that hurts I promise – and there’s paperwork for you to sign. You probably have phone calls to make too.”  
  
Phone calls. Shit. Michael.  
  
“Um yeah okay.” He gives the baby one last look, “Can I kiss him?”  
  
“You’re the dad.”  
  
“I can’t like go with him?”  
  
“Your job right now is to go call your family and sign those papers, you’ll be with him as soon as we’re done.”  
  
“Okay, I’m your dad.” He tells the baby, “But she’s the boss right now. Be good bro okay?” He kisses the baby’s cheek, “See you later Gator.”  
  
*  
  
The radio silence has gone on for three hours, Michael is sure that he’s about to lose it because he’s not any closer to being home. He paces the first class lounge willing his cell phone to chime the Lil Wayne ringtone that tells him Ryan’s calling.  
  
 _Got money and you know it  
Take it out your pocket and-_  
  
“Ry?” Michael answers before Weezy finishes the second line, “Is everything okay?!”  
  
There’s no answer on the other end of the phone, just Ryan breathing.  
  
“Ryan? What happened? Is the baby okay?! You have to talk.”  
  
There’s still silence on the other end of the line, he’s about to freak out when he hears a baby crying in the background.  
  
“Is that him? Is he okay? Come on baby, tell me.”  
  
On his end, Ryan nods because he can’t talk.  
  
“Dude you have to talk to me.” Michael begs, “Is he okay?”  
  
“S-Six pounds.” Ryan manages to say, “Boy.”  
  
Michael has to fight the urge to yell out.  
  
“We… like… “ Ryan’s voice breaks, “We’re dads dude.”  
  
“Congrats babe.”  
  
“You too.” Ryan sniffs  
  
“So he’s okay?” Michael can see people staring at him, he’s too happy to care.  
  
“Um yeah,” Ryan’s voice is still shaking, “He’s fucking great… Screaming his head off and like… he had my finger and he’s strong dude like he has no hair but it’ll grow and like…um I can’t tell what colour his eyes are but he might have your face… I don’t know.”  
  
Michael imagines Ryan holding the baby up to a nurse’s face and asking her if it looks like Michael Phelps. It makes his fingers tighten over his boarding pass.  
  
“Did the surrogate sign the papers? Ry you have to make sure-“  
  
“She did, he’s ours bro. I’m going to sign the papers and once you get here it’ll be official.”  
  
“And he’s okay? You’re sure?”  
  
“Jeah.” Ryan laughs, “He was like moving around when they were cleaning him and I swear he was like doing the ‘fly, he’s legit ours man. He’s fucking perfect.”  
  
“Oh man.” Michael doesn’t even know what to do with himself, “I’m trying to get there but all the flights are backed up and-“  
  
“I’m holding it down bro.” Ryan says and his voice is a lot steadier, “The storm’s over so you should be able to fly out soon, the roads are probably a bitch though.”  
  
“All the flights are backed up, I’m trying stand by but-“  
  
“Dude, who the fuck are you?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Get a fucking jet you doofus. Swing that gold around. Come meet your son and sign papers and shit before I legally name him Reezy Jr.”  
  
“Shit. Right.” Michael feels stupid for not thinking of it first. “How do you book a jet?”  
  
“I don’t know call your agent? I’m sending you the first like official picture of your son dude so like be prepared, he’s a stunner.”  
  
“Did you call my mom?”  
  
“Before I called you? No. I haven’t called anyone else.”  
  
“Ok, I’ll be there soon babe, go make sure he’s okay.”  
  
“I got it covered man.”  
  
“Just… don’t tell people his name is Reezy okay? Don’t call him Reezy.”  
  
*  
  
They make Ryan wait in an empty hospital room while they check the baby up. Someone gives him apple juice and tells him to sit down if he feels dizzy.  
  
“I won’t pass out again, it was the blood and like the-“ He tries to explain but no one’s really listening to him.  
  
He calls his mom and she screams so loud that he has to hold the phone a foot from his face. After he hangs up, he decides to wait on calling anyone else. He figures his mom is probably already busy calling everyone she’s ever met anyways.  
  
Finally, they bring him the baby who’s wrapped like a burrito in a blanket with ducks all over it.  
  
“Here you go dad, he’s healthy as can be. Congratulations.”  
  
“Can I like…” Ryan looks at the nurse, “hold him?”  
  
“He’s your son.” She smiles at him, “You can hold him all you want. I’ll be back in half an hour to go over feeding with you and your partner.”  
  
“He’s on his way.” Ryan explains, “This dude wasn’t suppose to come for another like… Three weeks. ”  
  
“Well let us know when he gets here, I’ll give you two some time to get to know each other. It’s good to see you got your colour back.” She pats his arm and leaves.  
  
*  
  
It’s not that Ryan’s never held a baby; he’s held plenty of babies. He has nieces and nephews and his friends have had babies and sometimes, random strangers hand him their babies so he’s pretty much a pro he thinks but like this baby… He’s probably the smallest baby he’s ever seen. He’s also pretty sure the baby looks a lot like Michael, it’s something about the eyes but the more he looks at him the more he thinks that maybe the lips are his own.  
  
“Hey dude.” Ryan leans over the plastic baby box, it’s on wheels and that seems dangerous. “We could like… go skateboarding with you in this… like I could push you with me… or-“ He stops talking when the baby makes a small noise, “Or not Gator, maybe you don’t skateboard, that’s cool too.”  
  
He just stares at him, because even though he’s witnessed (survived more like) him being born, it still kinda doesn’t feel real.  
  
He reaches into the bassinette and smoothes one of his hand over the stupid duck blanket, “I’m really sorry about that blanket dude, it’s not ballin’ at all. I’ll change you into something cooler before anyone else sees you, I won’t judge you for it… They probably didn’t give you a choice.”  
  
“Ok Gator, I’m trying this out, please don’t cry.” The baby fits in one of his hands but he uses both of them to lift him out of the bed.  
  
“Oh man.” Ryan says to no one, he settles the baby against his chest and he’s sure his heart is going to explode. “I’m in trouble dude.” He whispers because his throat feels tight.  
  
He doesn’t even realize that he’s crying until a tear hits the baby’s head, “Sorry bro, shit.” He wipes the baby’s head carefully before rubbing at his own face, “Ok so I don’t cry jeah? This is our secret.” He holds the baby up so they’re face to face and kisses one of his cheeks “I’m in trouble with you kid.”  
  
*  
  
It’ s late when Michael gets to the hospital.  
  
He gives sympathetic nods to the other men pacing the hallways and the waiting rooms of the maternity ward. He hears the baby crying before he gets to the room, he stands by the door and watches.  
  
“Hey,” Ryan tells the baby, rubbing his back, “Don’t cry Gator, I got you,” He kisses the baby’s head, “I got you, you’re okay.” He walks back and forth rocking the baby slightly and sees Michael. “Fucking finally, dude look who’s here!”  
  
Ryan turns the crying baby around to face Michael. “I’m sorry, he wasn’t crying until like two minutes ago… I think he’s hungry but like you were suppose to bring your own bottles for formula and I forgot them so the nurse is-“  
  
Michael crosses the room, grabs the back of Ryan’s neck and pulls him in close. He kisses his temple, “I fucking love you, you know that right?”  
  
“I know.” Ryan leans his head on Michael’s shoulder and yawns, “I love you too… Here, meet your son dude.” He hands him the baby.  
  
“Um… I don’t know” Michael doesn’t reach out for him, “He’s pretty small.”  
  
“Yeah. He’s a baby.”  
  
“I don’t want to like, break him.”  
  
“He’s pretty tough.”  
  
“Still.”  
  
“You’re not going to hold him?”  
  
“You’re doing a great job.”  
  
“Dude, you’re hurting his feelings.” Ryan puts the baby back against his chest, “Like he’s already embarrassed by that stupid blanket, you’re just making it worst.”  
  
“He’s totally comfortable in your arms. I don’t want to drop him.”  
  
“You won’t Mike, come on, sit down and I’ll-“  
  
“Seriously, I don’t think I-“ Michael reaches out and carefully touches the baby’s back between Ryan’s splayed out fingers.  
  
“So I’m the only one who’s going to hold the baby?” Ryan mocks.  
  
“No, just like-“  
  
“Oh shit,” Ryan hovers the baby over Michael’s arms “I’m letting him go… In five seconds, you better be ready.”  
  
“Ryan, fuck, this isn’t.”  
  
“Five.”  
  
“Stop it Ry.”  
  
“Four.”  
  
“Ryan Steven, seriously.”  
  
“Three, you better get ready bro.”  
  
“Lochte, If you-“  
  
“Two.”  
  
“Shit” Michael awkwardly cradles his arms.  
  
“Two and a quarter, seriously dude that’s not how you hold a baby.”  
  
“THEN TELL ME HOW.”  
  
“One. Here.” Ryan pushes Michael against the un-used hospital bed, “Sit down, stop being a girl. He fits into like one of your hands so just like…. Hold his head like this and then your other hand goes on his back… Against your chest, good job… Congrats dude.” Ryan holds both of his hands up, “You’re holding your son.”  
  
“Oh man.” Michael breathes out.  
  
“I know right?” Ryan sits down beside him. “It’s like the podium… but better.”  
  
“If anyone ever hurts him…”  
  
“Their motherfucking lives are over.” Ryan says and he reaches out to rub the baby’s head, “I know. We’re in so much trouble dude… Like I didn’t think you could like feel this way about something this like… tiny.”  
  
“Someone.” Michael corrects.  
  
“He needs a name dude.” Ryan sits down next to Michael and puts an arm around his shoulders.  
  
“What were you calling him when I came in?”  
  
“Gator? I don’t know… It’s just a nickname, I felt bad just calling him bro. I think he likes it.” Ryan yawns again.  
  
“I have the baby list name in my wallet.” Michael offers.  
  
“You would.” Ryan laughs, “Let’s hear them.” He leans his head against Michael’s shoulder and closes his eyes.  
  
“Logan.”  
  
“Never.”  
  
“Wayne.”  
  
“Love the man but it’s a name for an old dude. Not a baby.”  
  
“Bigg- Dude, you totally hijacked my list, Biggie was never something we agree-“  
  
“Fine, anyways this dude’s the tiniest baby I’ve ever seen.”  
  
“Oliver?”  
  
The baby makes a noise.  
  
“Dude, I think he just chose his own name.” Ryan sounds amazed.  
  
“Do you like it?” Michael asks.  
  
“I don’t think it matters, he just chose his own name.”  
  
“So you’re okay naming this guy,” Michael pulls him away from his chest a little so they can both look at his face, “Oliver?”  
  
“Jeah Oliver. Ols. Ollies.”  
  
“You won’t change your mind? Like if we sign all the papers you won’t-“  
  
“Dude.” Ryan sounds tired, “I’m a dad now… I’m responsible and shit. His name’s Oliver. We’re gonna be best friends.” His eyes close again and in a minute he’s asleep against Michael’s shoulder.  
  
*  
  
Michael doesn’t closely inspect the bracelet the nurse slapped on him until he’s in the bathroom washing his hands. That’s when he sees it: “Baby boy Lochte-Phelps”  
  
“Ryan… What’s your name?”  
  
“What?” Ryan looks up from the diaper bag, “Is this a trick question?”  
  
“What’s your name?”  
  
“…Ryan?”  
  
“Like on your driver’s license, your full name?”  
  
“Ryan Steven?”  
  
"Ryan Steven what?"  
  
“Phelps-Lochte.” Ryan grimaces, “Just because you won one stupid-“  
  
“Then why the fuck.” Michael holds up his wrist, “Is his name” He points to the baby, “Lochte-Phelps?”  
  



	2. The paparazzi waited all night in the snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Oliver comes home/ a bunch of blurbs from the months before he's born.

  
It starts snowing again the morning they take Oliver home from the hospital. Michael and Ryan stand shoulder-to-shoulder staring out f the floor to ceiling windows right outside the maternity ward. Oliver sleeps in Michael’s arms.  
  
“So,” Ryan says, “What’s your plan to get past those assholes?”  
  
The paparazzi have been roped off from the hospital entrances but they line the one and only exit out of the underground parking lot.  
  
They don’t understand the hype; Michael’s been retired for two years, the Olympic talk for Rio hasn’t really started yet and neither of them has been in the spotlight much.  
  
They’ve been living such a private (not hidden but private) life that for most people the “Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte are having a baby” story had been tied with the “Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte are together” story.  
  
It starts small, one day there’s someone taking pictures of Michael at the grocery shopping, the next week when he goes with Ryan there’s five of them and one Saturday morning there’s a gang of them camped out in front of their house.  
  
People Magazine offers them two million dollars for the exclusive rights to the baby pictures. They reject the offer and Hello magazine doubles what People had offered and then a German magazine triples it and it becomes so ridiculous that Michael starts deleting the emails without reading them; his kid’s not about to become the next Suri Cruise.  
  
Because Ryan and Michael won’t sell pictures of Oliver the press becomes more determined to get them and so it becomes even more important to protect Oliver.  
  
“One of the nurses is going to walk down with him” Michael’s thought of this plan for weeks, “Ten minutes later I walk down and then like five minutes after you follow.”  
  
“They’ll fall for that?” Ryan sounds unsure  
  
“Peter said that they’re looking for pictures of all three of us” It feels strange to say three instead of two, “together and then just you and me or one of us with Oliver. Even if they get pictures of the nurse with him, they can’t prove it and pictures of us walking alone are worth shit.”  
  
“So we’re fucking with their money?” Ryan sounds even more unsure, “They’re gonna be so pissed dude.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“They’ll follow us home man.” Ryan groans  
  
“It’s gated, who cares. We’ll get a rent-a-cop, how long do you expect these douche bags to hang around Baltimore?”  
  
“I dunno,” Ryan rests one of his hands on Oliver’s back, “Like pissing them off never gets us-“  
  
“I don’t want his picture out.” Michael insists, “At all. Not for all the fucking money People offered, they can take my picture all the want but they’re not getting his.”  
  
“There’s a snowstorm Mike, like… I don’t want those fuckers driving like assholes next to us when we have him in the car-“  
  
  
 _ **Five and a half months earlier**_  
  
“The fucker,” Michael grips the steering wheel tighter, “Is fucking riding my ass.”  
  
“Fucking rude, I’m the only one allowed to do that.” Ryan’s shoots back casually, not really paying attention. He’s running their baby pool bets like it’s a fantasy football league and because they’re on their way to an ultrasound it’s the last chance for people to place bets on the gender of the baby, his phone is buzzing non stop, “Oh man! Kyle just put money on twins, game changer.”  
  
“You know it’s not twins Ry.”  
  
“Yeah but he’s just put like-“  
  
“How much money is in this?”  
  
“It’s better if you don’t know dude.”  
  
“MOTHERFUCK!” Michael swerves the car to avoid being hit.  
  
“Dude, what the fuck.” Ryan’s head hits the window.  
  
“This asshole is trying to take pictures and drive at the same time, he’s not fucking looking where-“ The car cuts in front of them and breaks suddenly, Michael does the same and throws an arm out against Ryan’s chest.  
  
“Yo, this isn’t funny.” Ryan cries out.  
  
“I’m not doing this as a fucking joke.” Michael snaps, “This cu-“  
  
“Dude we can’t fucking lead them to the doctor’s” Ryan says panicked, “Ashley’s there.”  
  
Ashley the only seemingly sane person they’d found in their quest for a surrogate. Ashley who emailed them every day, did yoga, only ate organic foods and who was pretty much giving their baby the best living environment it would probably ever have  
  
They’d promised to keep her out of the media and it had been easy up until this very moment.  
  
“Ashley’s already inside, they won’t see her. There’s like a hundred pregnant girls walking in and out of Bayview, they won’t know Ashley from- FUCK.” Michael swerves again and punches the steering wheel, “I’M FUCKING DRIVING BRO.” He yells at his closed window.  
  
“Dude.” Ryan turns to look behind them and there’s another car following them too close, “The fuck is this shit? We’re not this famous.”  
  
“We’re not,” Michael’s jaw is clenched and his knuckles are white. He makes a left turn down a one way street, losing one of the cars, “The baby is.”  
  
 _ **Current Time**_  
  
“By the time they get to their cars, we’ll already be too far ahead. I’ve thought this through… They might get pictures of us through the windshield but Ols’ car seat faces the back so they won’t get him.”  
  
“I’m sorry?” The nurse is at least a foot and a half shorter than both of them, “My name’s Alyssa, I’m part of your escape plan.”  
  
She’s about their age and not wearing scrubs; she could be any mom taking her baby home from an appointment. Her ID badge is clipped to her hoodie pocket, Ryan stares at it hard.  
  
“Thanks for helping us out.”  
  
“We usually go out to make sure your car seat is installed right, it’s not a big deal. Are you ready to go?”  
  
“Yeah,” Michael puts Oliver in the baby carrier at his feet and buckles him in, “We’re by the elevator on the third level, it’s a black Escalade. Ry? Give her your keys.”  
  
“Why my keys?” Ryan looks suspicious.  
  
“Because I don’t have mine, you drove here.”  
  
“Why the keys though?”  
  
“You’re cool with her taking our baby but not your car keys? It’s so she’s not wasting her time, she can check the car seat.“  
  
“I don’t need the keys.” Alyssa says, “I can wait.”  
  
“No,” Michael holds out his hand in Ryan’s direction, “He’ll give you his keys.”  
  
“Fine.” Ryan pulls a University of Florida lanyard from his pocket and hands them to Michael.  
  
“She’s the nurse who changed Oliver out of the duck blanket.” Michael says when he takes the keys.  
  
Ryan grabs the lanyard out of Michael’s hands and gives it to Alyssa himself.  
  
*  
  
The camera flashes through the windows are blinding and Ryan counts his steps forcing himself not to react. He pulls his hat down lower over his face and jams his hands further into the pockets of hoodie.  
  
He walks to the car and finds Alyssa tugging on the base of their car seat while Michael puts their bags in the trunk.  
  
“You’re all good to go.” Alyssa smiles and hands the keys to Ryan, “He’s all strapped in. Make sure you never put anything between him and the harness, put it over.”  
  
“Did they get pictures?” Ryan smoothes his hand over Oliver’s head  
  
“No.” Alyssa shrugs, “I kept the carrier facing away from the window anyways.”  
  
*  
  
“Dude.” Michael leans his head back against the headrest and groans, “You’re killing me.”  
  
“The roads are slippery as fuck, I’m not going faster.”  
  
“You’re doing like twenty under the limit, I can swim faster than-“  
  
“Do you want to drive?” Ryan snaps.  
  
“No, I just-“  
  
“Then shut the fuck up. Is he still sleeping?”  
  
Michael twists back to look at Oliver, “Yeah man, he’s out.”  
  
“Is he breathing?”  
  
  
“Pretty sure he is yeah?”  
  
“Can you fucking double check please?”  
  
“Not without waking him up.” The quiet is nice and Michael isn’t exactly ready to find out how the inside of a car manages to amplify a newborn’s cries.  
  
“We’re almost home, just like… Let me drive slow. I just gotta get this kid home safe.”  
  
*  
  
Both their moms are waiting for them by the front door.  
  
The kitchen is filled with food and their fridge is jam packed with neatly labeled Tupperware containers. There’s lasagna just coming out of the oven and Michael opens a cupboard to get a plate but finds baby bottles instead.  
  
“We re-organized your kitchen.” Debbie admits.  
  
“Our kitchen was fine mom.”  
  
“You had en entire drawer of wooden chopsticks and expired hot sauce packets.” She says it like the memory of it pains her.  
  
“It wasn’t like hurting anyone.” Michael keeps opening cabinets in search of a bowl and keeps not finding one, “Seriously mom, where are our plates?”  
  
“Just right here honey.” She opens the cupboard right above the dishwasher, “It’s easier this way, you just have to unload and it’s right there.”  
  
“Our kitchen was fine.” He insists.  
  
“With the baby you need to be organized.”  
  
“What else did you guys touch?” He asks cautiously.  
  
“Just the baby’s room.” Debbie hands him a plate, “You guys never put away the gifts from your baby shower. All the clothes were still just in the gift bags. We washed them and put them in the dresser for you.”  
  
“Oh.” Michael tries to hide his smirk by taking a bite of food, “Ryan’s going to be so happy.”  
  
 ** _Three Months Earlier_**  
  
“Baby shit is so lame dude.” Ryan leans on the Babies R Us shopping cart, “Like none of this stuff is cool.”  
  
“I don’t know, dolphins are kind of cool” Michael picks up a pack of dolphin printed onesies.  
  
Ryan gives him a look, “You want our son to wear dolphins? Give the kid a chance dude.”  
  
“Well he has to wear fucking something.” Michael puts the package back on the shelf, “Dude, I swear if we don’t start buying shit for this kid my mom and my sisters are going to flip.”  
  
“He has shoes.” Ryan points out.  
  
“Dude, no baby needs twenty pairs of high tops. He won’t even walk.”  
  
“There’s probably a shit ton of baby stuff in those boxes Speedo keeps sending us.”  
  
“I called not unpacking them.”  
  
“I called infinity not unpacking three years ago.”  
  
“You didn’t.”  
  
“Just because you choose not to remember doesn’t mean it never happened bro.” Ryan rolls his eyes and abandons the shopping cart mid aisle, “Seriously there has to be something un lame in this store.”  
  
There isn’t, they leave with a pack of infant socks and the dolphin print onesies.  
  
*  
  
Debbie drops by the next day. When she sees that the baby nursery is still empty (Michael points to the twenty ridiculously tiny shoe boxes stacked in the corner in a feeble attempt to convince her they’ve started to buy things) she rolls her eyes at him, grabs their home phone and calls Ryan’s mother.  
  
“Dude.” Michael leaves his mom in the kitchen to go find Ryan, “We’re in fucking trouble my mom’s calling your mom.”  
  
“So?” Ryan barely looks up from his iPad, “They get along and shit.”  
  
“No, she’s pissed we still haven’t bought any baby stuff.”  
  
“We did! We have socks and those dolphin shirts and shoes. We’ve totally started. How much shit does a baby – Did you tell her about the stuff Speedo sent?“  
  
“We should like go and just… call one of our sisters and get-“  
  
“Yeah, I have to be at the gym in like half an hour.” Ryan doesn’t look sorry at all.  
  
“Fucker. You’re ditching me with this?”  
  
“You can handle your mom Mike, I’ll un-ground you when I come back.”  
  
“Can I come work out with you?”  
  
“No,” Ryan laughs, “You need to stay here and make sure our moms don’t pull our sisters into this because then we’re fucked. It’ll be fucking ducks everywhere I just know it.”  
  
“I hate you.” Michael groans.  
  
“Shouldn’t have retired bro.” Ryan kisses him quickly, “I’ll be back later.”  
  
*  
  
Ryan comes home exhausted and with bleeding knuckles. He collapses on the couch, resting his head on Michael’s lap.  
  
“Dude, you’re bleeding.” Michael grabs both of Ryan’s hands and holds them away from the couch, “Fix yourself.”  
  
“No, I can’t move.” Ryan complains, “You fix it.”  
  
“I can’t move, you’re on me.”  
  
“Then we’re stuck.” Ryan closes his eyes. Blood drips from his hands to Michael’s shirt,  
  
“Dude! You’re bleeding on me. Come on, I like this shirt” Michael holds Ryan’s hands above his own chest.  
  
Ryan doesn’t move.  
  
“Fuck you.” Michael pushes Ryan’s head off his lap long enough to stand up, “Hold this.” He dumps a notepad on his chest. Ryan’s head falls back against the couch, Michael’s pretty sure he’s sleeping.  
  
Michael walks back into their living room shirtless holding some paper towels  
“Move.” He commands, “Gimme back my spot.”  
  
Ryan sits up just enough to let Michael sit and then leans his head back down “What is this?” He holds up with pad of paper.  
  
“It’s all the shit we need to get for the baby.” Michael grabs one of his hands and starts wiping away the blood, “Dude what the fuck were you doing to your hands?”  
  
“Boxing. “ Ryan flips through the paper, “Dude, there’s like… Ten pages…”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“Dude, how does a baby need this much stuff?!”  
  
“I know… other hand.”  
  
“Dude this is going to take us fucking forever to buy all this shit.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“I don’t even know what half of this is. What’s a fucking diaper genie? Like a robot?”  
  
“My mom said that if we don’t have half this shit by next week, she’s moving in.”  
  
“FUCK OW.” Ryan tries to snatch his hand away, “The fuck?”  
  
“Peroxide, “ Michael dangles the bottle in front of Ryan’s face, “I have to clean your cuts dude.”  
  
“Fuck no you do not. That fucking stings.”  
  
“Suck it up bro.”  
  
“At least fucking blow on it asshole.” Ryan complains  
  
“That’s not hygienic.” Michael dabs Ryan’s knuckles with peroxide again.  
  
“Your face’s not hygienic.” Ryan says through clenched teeth.  
  
“Your mom’s not-“  
  
“Dude.”  
  
“Sorry.” Michael dabs an entirely skinned knuckles and blows on it. He feels Ryan relax and then sees him reach down to re-adjust himself.  
  
“Dude are you fucking hard from me touching your hands?” Michael laughs.  
  
“You’re fucking not wearing a shirt.” Ryan explains  
  
“That’s so gay dude.”  
  
“You’re fucking gay so shut the fuck up.”  
  
*  
  
“Ok so this list.”  
  
They’re eating breakfast the next morning and the list sits between them like an explosive device they’re both afraid to touch.  
  
“Fuck the list man.” Ryan pours more cereal into his bowl, “Seriously. We don’t need half this shit.”  
  
“My mom will move in.” Michael says it slowly, “Do you realize what that means.”  
  
“That we’ll get eggs for breakfast?”  
  
“My mom will be living here. She will never go home.”  
  
“The food though man.”  
  
“You won’t be able to walk around naked, I won’t be able to blow you while the coffee’s brewing.”  
  
“Fine, the fucking list.” Ryan concedes.  
  
“We just have to like… look at it like a goal sheet.”  
  
“You would.” Ryan rolls his eyes, in all the years he’s known Michael the words “goal sheet” have never been followed by a good time.  
  
“We’ll go and look at this stuff and if we don’t think we need it… We cross it off.” Michael ignores Ryan.  
  
“I have practice though.”  
  
“I’ll drive you.” Michael drinks the last of his coffee, “And go pick out paint and then I’ll swing back around to pick you up and we can-“  
  
“What the fuck are we painting?”  
  
“The baby’s room.”  
  
“It’s already painted.”  
  
“It’s on the list Ry.”  
  
“I’m going to burn the list.”  
  
  
 _ **The day of the ultrasound**_  
  
“A boy.” Ryan says because Michael’s too stunned to speak, “You’re like sure?”  
  
“Yes.” The ultrasound technician goes back over the video circling part of the screen with the back of her pen, “That’s a penis, it’s a boy.”  
  
“Shit.” Ryan says it under his breath, he squeezes Mike’s knee, “Shit.” He repeats it louder.  
  
“Everything else looks good. He looks normal and healthy.”  
  
*  
  
“A boy.” Michael says once they’re in the car.  
  
“Dude, a boy.” Ryan’s grinning, “Like I would have been cool with a girl, but a boy.” He punches Michael in the arm “Jeah!”  
  
“Shit.” Michael finally smiles, “Dude-“ His voice cracks a little.  
  
“I know.” Ryan leans over to kiss him, “I know babe.”  
  
  
 _ **Current Time** _  
  
“And this,” Ryan whispers to Oliver, “Is where the magic happens dude. It’s your bedroom.”  
  
He settles down into the armchair next to crib, “Your shoes are in here and your clothes and like I hope you’re feeling the green because your dad wanted blue but I said that was lame and I won. I usually win.” He fixes Oliver’s tiny little beanie.  
  
“I don’t know where your dad is.” He keeps his one sided conversation going, “but like that’s cool, we can chill.” He lapses into silence for a few minutes, feeling Oliver’s tiny breaths and watching his hands curl and uncurl. He carefully strokes the back of Oliver’s head with one finger and closes his own eyes.  
  
“Welcome home Gator.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted at Olympickids


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